Washing Machine from Hell

... slash the uncanny ability of cleaning my room.
Allow me to explain.


So. This evening my mother came cantering into my room, singing praises of washing clothing. She joyfully asked if I had any sweats to be cleansed of their sins, and I answered with a resounding yes. As I pirouetted around my room, scooping up my articles of clothing, Cyd patiently waited in my door way. I gracefully tossed her the pile, and she skipped off down the hall to work magic in the laundry room. Moments later, I found myself enjoying the company of a box of Sundried Tomato and Basil Wheat Thins in the kitchen, when I heard an odd noise echoing from the room of launderers. 
"Mother dear!" I sang. 
She answered with a whistle, and popped her head from the room, to find what I was inquiring of. 
"What might that hideous noise be?" I asked. 
"Oh, I don't know. There's probably a unicorn inside," she said. "Or maybe it's a shoe."
But, I knew better. "Oh pish-posh! What are you thinking?! Of course it's a unicorn! The chances of it being a shoe are so incredibly rare. Why would you ever dream of such a thing!?"
With a weary look on her face, she told me to not be so sure of myself, and to go check my room to make sure Horace {my pet unicorn} hadn't been scooped up in my speedy clothing retrieval. I told her she was being ridiculous, but decided to go check anyway. When I arrived in my room, I found Horace curled up in his cradle having his early-evening nap, but to my horror I found only one of my two boots lying on the ground. 
"NOOOOO!!!" I screamed, and fainted in a slow-motion fashion. Thankfully Horace was there to catch me, and he splashed water on my face to bring me back to reality. "Stop that washer!" I slow-motion ran to the laundry room, and slammed my fist onto the "stop wash" button. I then curled into a ball at the foot of the washing machine, and began to sob as I waited an agonizing 30 seconds for the door to unlocked. The moment I heard the 'click' I threw myself at the door, and began ripping clothes from the hell-hole of that machine. Out of the sopping wet clothes, emerged an even soppier, wetter boot. I cradled Lefty in my arms, whispered sweet secrets into his ear, and told him everything would be alright. I then lovingly ringed the water from his cold, wet, limp body, and laid him in the sink to regain consciousness. I then threw a pointed finger at Cyd as I exclaimed: "YOU! You are the reason my room is dirty, and that I scooped up Lefty in my hasty gathering of clothing! I only wore him once, and now he may never have the opportunity of gracing my foot ever again!"
She then bowed down my feet, and began to apologize. "Oh, will you ever forgive me!? You are not to blame! It's completely my fault that your room looks as if a tornado ripped through it, and that I haven't kept it clean! Please, oh please, my wonderful daughter, forgive me!"
It was at that moment, that I raised my mustache-tattooed finger to my upper lip, let out an evil laugh, and banished her to Washing Machine Hell forever.








bail is set at one new pair of boots.