Cat.

"Your cat has been whoring around again."

    ^That's what my mom told me about a month ago. There was no way that I was going to believe her. My cat was not a whore. Not now, not ever. I mean.. despite the fact that she had 5 kittens out of wedlock not too long ago, I was trying to give her a second chance at redeeming herself. She was doing pretty well at behaving, and then one day she disappeared. 
I was devastated. 
My mind had created these hideous scenarios. One where she had been eaten by a coyote, another where she got ran over by a train. After a few days I began to accept the fact that she was gone for good, and to just be happy that she had been such a good pet. A few weeks later I went out to one of my dad's rental homes to help him clean. I heard a meow that was so distinct that I knew it was her. 
I was so happy I could have cried.
My dad wouldn't let me bring her home, and I despised him for it. But it was ok. For I still had Oscar at home to keep me company. Life went on, and I slowly began to forget about Cat. And then one day, she appeared on the back porch. I was 90% positive that she had figured out how to remove her soul from her body and was projecting it in front of me. I had to blink a few times to make sure she was real. Over the course of a month she had somehow managed to find her way from the rental {which is in Ivins} all the way back to my house! Oh, joyous day! It was so glorious. I loved her and was so happy to have her back home.


A few weeks later my mom informed me of her suspicions, and I quickly denied them. Cat was not a whore. And then today, my dad asked me if I had seen Pregnant Cat lately. It was then that my hopes of having a decent pet were shattered.

And that's how I discovered my cat was a whore.