Banana hair.

{Just as a preface, I had to sing that annoyingly infamous song by Gwen Stefani to type that up there^. And every time I type that word out in this post, you bet your bottom dollar I'll be singing it in my head.}


I've always been quite curious of those home remedies that claim to work miracles. "Drink this and you'll cry tears of gold." "Bathe in this and you'll gain the ability to fly." You get the point. There always seems to be a concoction of some sort popping up in Seventeen Magazine.. and if you know me, you know that I love that mag. I've gotten it in the mail every month since I turned 14. When I got this month's copy, I stuck it in my backpack and somehow forgot about it. So today while at work, I rediscovered it and was flipping through it when I stumbled upon the page titled "your recipe for perfect hair!" It was as if the angels from heaven were singing down upon me, giving me promises of model-worthy hair, and men by the dozens lusting after me for it.


Ok.. not really. That was a slight exaggeration. My eyes continued skimming down the page, where I found three "recipes."
     1: Seal Split Ends
     2: Create Beachy Waves
     3: Get Awesome Shine
When I was contemplating which one I wanted to try, I ticked them off in the order that I least needed them. 


Number one was out of the question because, not to toot my own horn, I've always had really healthy hair. Split ends have never exactly been a problem for myself. So I decided that one wouldn't be needed. Number two seemed lovely. Why not look like I have sexy beachy waves? Oh, I know why. Because my hair is at that awkward length that when anything curly/scrunched/wavy it attempted, it just looks weird. So. Also out of the question. That left me with choice number three. Awesome shine. Seemed simple enough. My ingredients were banana {bet you're singing the song right now}, olive oil, an egg, yogurt, and some honey. I mashed the bananas as instructed, and mixed the rest in, then went into the bathroom to do work on my hair. 


It was ... interesting, to say the least. Not to be completely disgusting, but I felt like I had throw up in my hair. ha! If you decide to try this, I highly suggest running the banana through a sieve before you lather it in your hair.  {Do you feel like you're reading an essay right now..? Because I feel like I'm typing one.} After dousing my hair in my banana mixture I wrapped my head in plastic wrap, and immediately ran to my room to hide for the next 30 minutes. I didn't exactly want anybody seeing my cone-shaped alien head. It was quite the look. I considered taking pictures, but then decided against it. 


When my thirty minutes were up I dashed back to the bathroom hoping to avoid contact with any member of my family. I hopped in the shower, where I proceeded to wash the chunks of banana out.. once again. Put it through a sieve. Not only did it do a marvelous job of sticking in my hair, but it was awesome at plugging my shower drain. And when I looked around, there was banana residue everywhere. Wall. Curtain. You name it. Apparently I whip my hair back and forth when I shower {...aren't you just loving the song references in this post?}. After rinsing, I finished up with my honey rinse, and dried and straightened!


I can't exactly say that I feel like my hair is shining bright like the northern star.. and my ends feel kind of grossie. For some reason my brain assumed that shine was the same thing as soft. Wrong. It's kind of like saying "healthy glow." Sure, I'll go to the tanning beds and get a healthy glow! Wrongo, bucko. You're just killing your skin with billions of watts of UV rays.. not smart. But, to get back on track, I guess it was cool. My hair smells like banana waffles mixed with honey on toast. I smell like breakfast. mmm. I suppose it does feel kind of soft ish. I don't know. If you ever decide to do this, let me know how it worked out for you.




Also, if you've read this entire thing.. kudos. Give me your address and I'll send you a baked good of some sort. 


Here's the lil' recipe/directions:
-Crush 1 banana in a bowl; add 2 tablespoons olive oil, 1 egg, and 2 tablespoons plain yogurt. Mix the ingredients into a paste.
-Apply paste from roots to ends. Cover hair with plastic rap, let  the mask set for 30 minutes. Rinse and Shampoo. {...when they say rinse and shampoo... plan on it being like. 6 billion cycles of that.}
-Squeeze all excess moisture from your hair, then combine 2 teaspoon honey with 1 cup cool water, stirring until the honey dissolves. Pour the mixture over your hair, but don't rinse it out - just towel-dry and style as usual.






Ps, I think I want these shoes:

K bye.